Well today is may 22, 2011 at 1pm and my soul was not ascended into heaven yesterday as one of God's chosen.
I knew through the Wikipedia post on The Rapture that it would be rolling across the world hitting every time zone at 6pm...i wonder if if Arizona got two hours of rapture since it doesn't do Daylight Savings Time...
I must admit that as i spent the day before and hours before making fun of The Rapture and discussing the absurdity of something that has been predicted a dozen (probably more) times through history. ACTUALLY my mother in her confirmation class did the math to figure out the rapture....it was predicted for sometime in the 80s....
In grand fashion I attended an art benefit for a health clinic (insert irony that I got stinking drunk there) the night before The Rapture in glorious fun with my friends and enjoyed dancing and singing with my friends as our last night was prolonged into early hours of the morning. I had a great sleep over and woke up at my friend's house to a prolonged discussion with a zen monk about The Rapture. I am sure for him waking up to two girls sleeping in the living room of our mutual friends was intense for a celibate monk and might have felt a bit rapture-y. Interesting enough, what I took away from the conversation is that there are certain men who just don't think woman are intellectual. He brought up several conversations I had well formed thoughts about, even while hung over...and he didn't want to hear them. He wanted to show his prowess on them. Well I may drink and carouse and have breasts but my thoughts were just as valid and smart. But for some reason he didn't want to hear them. I find it more interesting to have an engaged two way conversation. Well and let's face it I am a little jealous he is a monk...I dream about being one all the time.
I went home after an amazing breakfast of banana waffles and bacon. All food tastes better when hung over especially when it will be your last hang over. I also got some sheet music because in the waning days of this civilization I am picking up the oboe again. (classical instrument that only Sufjan Stevens has any reference for...though his oboe player is a little out of tune and not at all that good...)
I was sleepy but I wanted to do something of importance before The Rapture....I got to reading the latest book I am obsessed with. The Tiger's Wife....pick it up the writer is under 35 and freaking amazing....I ended up online just surfing around...buying books before God took me away.
I must admit i got nervous at 530pm. I didn't want to be on the toilet when we all got sucked up to heaven or our eyes started bleeding. I took a shower to be fresh and clean after a lot of whiskey and bacon grease residue. As I was showering I was on high alert for earthquake shakes...I thought I felt the bathroom door shift open a tiny bit more....
Minutes before The Rapture I was thinking about my soul and what would it feel like if it was taken from me...even it was to save my eternal ass....I truly thought about if I would be taken if this REALLY happened. And I have to say even with my carousing, feminist ideals I think God would take me. I'm a good person. I love my friends. i love my family. I will take care of my parents when they get old. I give my friends lap dances. I get entangled in political thought. No seriously, I talk people through crisis and laugh with them when things are going well and I care. I critically think about what life means and what id SHOULD be like. I create beautiful things. I worry. I eat organic. I have no idea what I am doing but I don't lie, steal, or cheat. I am truly a soul making a try at it. I good clean try. It scares the shit out of people but I think Jesus and God can appreciate my earnestness.
I had turned on the TV so I could say I was watching basketball when God came (my sense of humor is on the cynical side) but I don't have cable and the Mavs game was on ESPN. So I watched some PBS. And life continued After The Rapture....
