October

With my few hours off this month, I want to get in a post. Yeah that is pretty melodramatic but this month is turning out just as busy as September. and I am needing a break.
But what is going on is great! I had my first opening at the Ben Maltz Gallery. for the show MAKE:CRAFT. which is very up my alley with all artists being makers from techie peeps to sustainable reusers...to knitters!!! Marke Newport who I had chatted with at Cranbrook did a performance for the opening that was amazing! And then also Crank Ensemble from San Fran performed there amazing rubber band and metal made instruments (sample above) that have contact mics on them to conduct the sound...loved it!

My job was to make sure that the opening goes off without too many hitches and it went well.
the performers got set up and there was food. PHEW.

What is real time consuming is the Woman's Building exhibit that is in a year. we are getting the publications ready and the checklist (all the pieces that will be in the show) together and those two things are a full time in itself. I am really excited for the show and luckily along with my admin tasks get to go on studio visits and archive visits in preparation. I am finding that I LOVE archives and I LOVE studio visits.....
Ran into Hilja Keading an AMAZING artist and she made the comment that I would make a great curator....as I grapple with this divide...the artist--curator rift...I wonder how I can keep both...how how HOW? though I think I would make one smashing curator...I have all the skills needed...BOOM. Whereas with the artist role...I just don't that like stay in for hours and work on stuff in me...but I also make some really thoughtful art...in many realms...if you have comments please call me cause I would love some support and help as I decide what to do next....but know all is good. I am making art, performing and working as a curatorial fellow all on full steam ahead!!!! which is ravishingly wonderful.

My personal life though...geez I don't know if I know how to have one. I just like hop in to other people's eating dinner with my good friend Sarah Morton (amazing budding filmmaker) and her musician boyfriend Andy Hentz(he is like a hidden music genius)...I realize when I want to feel loved I just call them up and hang out with them like I live with them or something...I guess I imagine I am supposed to have folks over to my house and throw little soirees...whereas when I have a few hours...i just want to read...and well read some more...before I jet to dance rehearsal or the video lab. that the idea of having someone to sleep over every night seems irritating.

Joe Coyle visited this week and I think he got me thinking...Joe loves a melodrama and to talk about the sad and the deep...which I love...it just has me realizing I can let go even more of the bounds I set around myself...


Just keep rocking it.

Up next Public Parks Performance at Baldwin hills overlook on oct 17 at 5pm...Greg Barnett's LACE workshop at Noon on Oct 24
Hopefully some shadow drawings I have had brewwwwwwwwwwwwing for months now.

I am a bit homesick as Joe leaves and then Jesse asked for this blog connection so I guess I am writing this to Jesse....wondering if he had advice for me on how to invest in my personal life more....what he would tell me to do....oh the love hate of the artist life....things are going good but where am I?

Time Flies

Well if I wait to figure out what photos I want to go with this post I may never get it posted!
So I want to make sure there is some consistency to my blog.

I am tired. Tired because I have been going at mach speed. And I have been trying to go at mach speed all my life. Now that I have I have decided it is too fast.
Luckily I at least am going mach speed doing things that I love.

Such as organizing public events for the gallery.
Researching with Meg about the Woman's Building.
Reading "The Corrections" and "Tinkers."
Reading my new subscription to the New Yorker.

All of these things seem extra special when Megan points out she can't do many of these things in Russia.

Though life sometimes becomes too many points of interest. I have done soo many cool things the last month they are blending together and all I want to do are boring things :) like play bananagrams...

but I also want to draw and paint. and photograph and video. and edit. and think.
mostly think. i want time to think about what i want to think about. and I will. I am.

Tonight I saw Simone Forti's quartet perform. Which was very interesting and it wasn't about layers like my work is about but rather the deconstruction of boundaries in language in a thoughtful way through the body, the image, and through sound. Bravo!

I saw Gorky's work at the MOCA and MAN oh MAN I love that guy now. he plays amazingly with transparency, layers, and abstraction in a way that is very emotional and appealing as it is in a strange way architectural or design orientated. I aspire to make work like that.

It was really hard to come back to a land with no family nearby. I miss them like crazy but I also realize I am on a very personal journey. One devoted to art, heart, and my family....

What I realized at Simone's performance were some rather large things...like how I could be someone of interest from the outside. That I had established myself here. That I had made some interesting friends. That this is where I want to be. and I am not so intimidated by others anymore...i don't look around for the approval of others but am a lot more centered than I have ever been.

The other thought I had this morning worth memorializing is about how we for a very long time have been trying to separate the body and the mind. wow that was a large part of my thesis but it felt like a new genuine thought this morning. it was about the internet and technology. we watch movies. we experience emotions or try to....without moving. we type. we you tube. also specifically scientists try to separate the two. but it is impossible. as we try to cure cancer not through getting rid of poison but curing the effect of poison. we loss the emotion reality of disease. science is our security blanket of reality sometimes. and when we learn something of use we exploit it....but how does that effect the body? sometimes the great things we learn have unexpected effects on the body and mind...i am rambling it is a new thought. science is a way to destroy bodily relationships by inserting the brain....i have no idea if I believe that...but science does effect intuition...i will think more on this....

hope you are still reading this....my exciting life. (rolling of eyes).... :)...i like it a lot but wonder if it is reading worthy...in this mind world disconnected from the body.

August is called Performance Month

I just was chatting with my cousin, Grace, on facebook chat. A spotty communication device but I was so glad to see her online! Because she is in Guatemala in the Peace Corps! Man, do I feel lame when both my sister and my cousin are so cool to have the commitment to do this AMAZING thing. Grace said the sweetest thing that she loved reading this blog because my life was interesting to other people! WOW, what a compliment!So I got on blogger to talk about my week. It has been a crazy one. This weekend I had two different performances I was involved in. One my mentor invited me to be a part of her solo dance at RedCat. RedCat is THE avant garde art performance place. This was QUITE an opportunity! And I LOVE dancing with Hana van der Kolk...her dance is an amazing mixture of meditation and exploration of what reality means...what emotion is when isolated and how we can play with that in performance specifically a thing we box in as dance but we all like to call art.
(this isn't the performance we did this week but another performance I did with Hana at MOCA...it gives you an idea as to what we are into and do)...will get photos of this performance when available.)
All week we had rehearsals...this was made easier for me cause my friend Hanna (i know there isn't that many people with the name Hana or Hanna and here are two of my very best friends with the same name!). Hanna was also in Hana's dance. ;) Hanna was asked to be in this dance also. And she DROVE us downtown...making my commute SO MUCH EASIER. we rehearsed Monday and Wed. and then performed Thursday and Friday. It was AMAZING because at the end of Hana's solo...she recites the words to Prince's Die for You....and then starts to dance in one space...just dance to no music...and slowly 7 of us come down and join in...but the music to the song comes on when half of us were on stage....people sort of chuckle...because many of them didn't realize the words she said to them...looking them in the eye were the words to a pop song. we all dance with the intent to stay in the present moment....and say to with our bodies I will die for you to the audience. it is a magical experience to be a part of!I won't get into every part of Hana's solo dance because it would be a long blog entry but my favorite part is when she asks for volunteers from the audience....she has them to simple actions with her...intimate actions....touching shoulders with hands....nose to nose...mouth to mouth...and i was lucky and very happy to be a part of this during our dress rehearsal...I was the second volunteer....and Hana told me to go nose to nose with her....and that when she breathed out I would breath in....and everytime we should think about how we were both dieing togehter with everybreath....wow one...it is HARD to do that type of breath excercise when nose to nose with someone....and two i would just get chills every time I thought that we were both dieing...but not in a sentimental I know Hana as a friend isn't it sad she will die and I will die it was more bodily than that! amazing experience.I met a lot of cool people and go tot dance with old friends I adore!This was just my Thursday Friday and all of this was done while working my new job. Which I am enjoying immensely and adjusting to. When I talk to people I am just so glad for my life and how it is going.
THEN Saturday was Pedestal & the All Girl Band's mega event at 18th Street Arts night. There was weeks of planning..well months of planning with this event! And man, we had the coolest posters....and we hired a gourmet ice cream truck created by architects to sell ice cream...it was a two part event...with us traveling with our mobile karaoke unit and having people sing off scrolls that we had in amazing tubes created by Hataya...THEN a few hours later we had a karaoke party in the 18th street studio.Our mobile karaoke unit was a BIG hit! and even got told to stop cause people were being to loud singing with us! BIG hit! loved it! It was a lot of fun and we wore crazy outfits!
The party was fun too...but all of us were pretty wiped out by then and we couldn't serve booze so things were a little more quiet than I was hoping....but man oh man three of us organized a two part high energy performance! what an accomplishment!
(these two photos are for Grace....this is the sweater that i sported at Xmas this year...that she has been showing to her Guatemala friends....I know hot right! And i want her to show her my new fav shirt which is this green and black number...not as outrageous but still very Paige-a-licious)

This week I have a part in Barbara T Smith's fundraiser! and the next weekend magic garage! The performances continue! and so will this blog! Try to keep up! ;)
I will need a long break after this month!

well i don't have any words of art wisdom today.little tired from dog sitting to tell you the truth. i was so worried about doing a good job
or someone trying to get into my friends beach apartment...that i had anxiety dreams for 2 hours before i could really fall asleep. but there was a beautiful moment while walking Bo, the dog, yellow lab of comfy friendliness...SORRY no pics of Bo....that everything felt really sublime. hours later i realize everything feels sublime in the morning cause you aren't getting enough oxygen to your head to really compute everything.So backing up the weekend. busy i don't remember all i did....oh it comes back. we are starting the public practice 2010 collaborative...still to be named....and it is EXCITING....more later when we have our public branding more in place. ;)

SO sometimes you do things for love. sometimes you travel all the way to west hollywood on two buses in scorching heat...when you haven't eaten enough to feel close to someone far away. you know i worry...i worry i worry that my family in Minnesota and abroad think i don't care about them or think of them. i don't always do everything right...i forget aunt and uncles' birthdays...i come home as much as i can but it is hard to show appreciation from a distance...so I trekked to west hollywood...cause i miss my sister...BAD. I was sweating bullets surrounded by well balanced elder women...sweating more than me in one case....taking in an amazing folk dance concert based on a wedding....i was there cause one of the dances was Uzbek and Megan just went to a Uzbek wedding in K-stan...I mean i love dance and I was there for that...I love dance for the channeling of spirit...for the way you let go and let things flow...as the Uzbek dance started I knew I was there for Meg to in some weird way be closer to her and I teared up...cause it did make me feel closer to her...as I imagined her at the wedding of her host sisters just two weeks ago. how we show love is so strange. we see the movies...we read the books...where you wonder why people do what they do. the actions they decide to take. it is very hard to show love to someone when they are around---So we make up rituals of solitude that relate back to that love. strange. we all do it. i took a photo of an old old truck thinking of my dad. i listen to this or that song to remember a friend or an old flame.....

these are my thoughts for the day as I sit cross eyed in front of the computer alone.

7-11-10

Wow, what a week! Week number one of my job completed! It has been a good week…great week really. The adrenelaine that is connected to a new job is intense. I woke up early every morning. Grumpy but awake. Waking up not of my own free will is very hard for me. I know boo hoo but I am adjusting to a very set schedule whereas Grad school was hurry up and then wait. Grad school was RUSH RUSH RUSH. Now in my fellow ship there is a bit more time to pay attention to detail. There is time to ask questions more than in Grad School. I learned a lot this first week. From condition reports to honorarium forms, I enjoy jumping right in. All the people I work with are really fabulous! I will next learn about the more PR side and purchasing side of things. I CAN’T WAIT to be involved with the woman’s house exhibit that is coming up in 2011!

As for life outside work, I GOT ANEW BIKE! (I will insert a pic soon). I love her. Her name is Maggie Maude she is the most amazing color and a Raliegh beach cruiser. My Dad sent her to me. What a lucky daughter I am! AND I learned how to put together a bike cause it came in parts! So I learned a lot about bikes already. I haven’t taken her on a big trek yet. But I hope to go to the farmers market every Sunday with her.

I am really glad I like my new job, but my mind and body are in transition because of the shift. I think I am so good at change but it really stresses me out. So I am trying to find ways to stay balanced and grounded. Change really shakes up my body, I get tense and I grit my teeth. So I am trying to take it easy and not be too hard on myself.

But of course I also want to pack in A LOT of things during the weekend!

Friday I met with Christine Suarez about our dance collaboration! I am REALLY excited. We are both on the same wavelength on many points about performance. I am REALLY excited to start rehearsals for our piece together.

Saturday was the day I put together Maggie Maude. I also got some books from the library’s booksale area! What a great thing! Then Andy and I went to the premiere screening of “Night Sky” which I was a dancer in!!!! what fun it was to see Alison O’Daniel’s film. It was gorgeous and cosmic and of course I liked seeing myself in it! I will attach the link to the trailer. AND my dress was in it too on the partner I danced with (I was in the lesbian couple of the movie). Alison wanted me with this dreamy tall African America guy who is deaf but the deaf actors wanted to stay together…which I get. And Xio my partner rocked and we had fun dancing together. So Xio wore my patterned dress from England…so whenever I saw it I thought of the life that dress has had.

Andy was so sweet for going with me as he had had a long day. And then on the way back to the car we ran into like 6 PEOPLE!!! It was hilarious…then we got a little lost going home and past the spot where he and I had changed his truck tire last summer…it was really weird and reminded me of the movie we had just watched! Life was telling us something..i have no idea what…but andy and I do love to get lost in LA together!

Today! I went to Chinatown for a Public School event (see I told you I packed it in cause I am working now!). first I met with Hataya and we had a meeting about our collective! We are getting reved up for 18^th Street Art night! I am SOOO excited for our karaoke performances and for eating Coolhaus ice cream sandwiches. It is my job to write up the scrolls for our performances…got to get on that this week! Then when we parted ways I watched this break dancers warm up for a competition it was AWESOME. And while I was watching latinos, Asians, white guys, black guys, one girl, one adorable tiny kid, and who ever was there break dance…I realized again why I love LA. I can stumble into Chinatown and there is everyone dancing to the beat on a Sunday afternoon all together. DJ mixing it up for us all to groove to…WOW…the wind would rush through the plaza and for a second we wouldn’t be sweating throughour tanktops…and I just had to sigh and say AHHHHHHHH….inside my head.

Then I went to Adam Overton’s experimental music class at the Public School. Which I enjoyed thouroughly through a allergy headache : (….Sun Ra was first up and his friend Steve led the class…I have to say I really liked hearing a chronological listen to Sun Ra! I also think that Sun Ra was HEAVY on the west African influence early on….i felt like I was in ghana while listening to Watusa..the second recording of it….Next was Albert Alyer…who if you don’t know him…check him out…though my head was really achy by then….I think he is worth some listening. I am not a huge fan of jazz or know that much about it…but I have heard Alyer’s stuff twice now…and I think it is unique. I like this misunderstood artist mystique…and what it leads artists to do. I wonder that if in alyer’s case the reason he turned to God was because he needed something or someone to understand what he was doing. Or like if he said his music was about God people wouldn’t give him such a hard time….the class is about spirituality and music. I missed the John Cage class with a zen focus. In two weeks is satanic and psychedelic music…which will be a trip! Just google The Public School and you can see all sorts of classes to take at this site.

OK OK its 940pm and I have got to break down and take something for my allergy headache and get some rest before I start another week.

Fourth of July

So I spent Fourth of July away from my homeland of Minnesota...and I must say there is nothing like a Lake Cabin Fourth of July and I did yearn for it. But I pulled my self together :) and got out there!
I spent a day being as lazy as possible on the 3rd and succeeded. Then andy called me up and said LETS GO! and there was only one thing to do....GO! And go we went. We tried to go see the Baths show at the Troubadour...but as we stood in line for tickets THREE people before us it was sold out. Disappointing but as Andy and I both said we have been talking about seeing live music for months...this was our first step to realizing it....so next time we will get in...probably still won't be on time but we will get in. :) INSTEAD we went to the Landmark and saw Toy Story 3...something we both wanted to see badly and in 3D and next week in LA it is going totally 2D except in far off theater. I thought it was a great plot and the cartoon was beautiful. I don't want to be a spoiler but there were some suspenseful parts...well played pixar.
As fourth of July proper started.....I got up early to get to the Farmers market on Grand View....WOWZERS what a great farmers market...a big organic section. It seemed like i spent a LOT of money but left with $20 in my pocket....In the pic there is tri colored organic green beans...yellow plums...white nectarines...yellow honey nectarines all organic...kale..two types of lettuce...organic strawberries..honey...half a loaf of rosemary bread...CHOCOLATE with salt and almonds...and blueberries and lavender...and one chocolate pastry to start my fourth! I don't know how that happened. I bought fancy things like gourmet chocolate and honey! All these gorgeous nectarines!! YUM....I love all the nectarines in Cali...yellow ones...white ones....ones that taste SUPER sweet...more mellow ones...yummies....so I made out with lots of organic produce and didn't feel like i had spent all my money on a head of lettuce. This farmers market had a great feel and I can walk there and then bus back.
After that I napped and then went to the beach with my friend Sally. We enjoyed my first in a long time sober Fourth of July. Which was amazing to do in the waves of drunks that were in Venice. We beached it. We had some hamburgers, fried zucchini, french fries....WOOOOO. Sally lives close to the beach so we went back to her house and watched Alice and Wonderland. Then we didn't brave the drunken crowds to get to the Marina where the fireworks but were able to watch from afar very clearly on a bridge in Venice. It was great. I didn't have to get stressed out by the crowd and saw my beloved fireworks....there was a heart shaped one...yup I am that sentimental to LOVE that they made a firework like a heart....the grande finale was AWESOME. I give the Marina an A- for firework display.....I keep comparing it to the Boston fireworks...it could be...COULD be...but I am not ready to commit to that.
So overall a great stress free Fourth of July. It felt great to laze around with my friend and we ended the night with another movie and a root beer float. :) Funny People...WATCH THIS FILM! Not only was it funny but it hit home a bit. There is this scene in the movie where Seth Rogan playing the moral up coming comedian gets in a fight with a girl for sleeping with his roommate like they are a couple while they hardly know each other. I can relate to Seth :) on that one. Sometimes we ask incredibly emotional things from strangers cause we want more from than or we see the potential to be happy with them. Of course I also related to Seth Rogan cause he is living in LA trying to make his dreams happen. his search for mentors and his ambition. i get all those things.
Overall a great weekend! Though I am sure I missed The Peacock, the christening of Uncle Joe's new pontoon, and some romping games of Pounce and Bananagrams. :( Next year....I am hoping to get home for all that fun!

LIFE! is good!

THIS IS WHERE I LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS ME LOOKING GOOFY on my first day of work!